The Unpaid Consultant

 Aunt Ksenia tells this story of Gwen in first grade.

Gwen: I know what Dad does at his job and what Mom does at hers. Aunt Ksenia, what do you do?

Ksenia: I'm a consultant. I give people advice, for money. 

Gwen runs off: Mom, mom! I've been giving people advice at school all year and no one has been paying me!

Husband problem

From Anya
Gwen: Where is your husband?
Anya: At work.
Gwen: Yes, we always have problems with husbands -- they work all the time, even on weekends.