The Unpaid Consultant

 Aunt Ksenia tells this story of Gwen in first grade.

Gwen: I know what Dad does at his job and what Mom does at hers. Aunt Ksenia, what do you do?

Ksenia: I'm a consultant. I give people advice, for money. 

Gwen runs off: Mom, mom! I've been giving people advice at school all year and no one has been paying me!

Stomach ache

George got a stomach ache.
Gwen: Dad, I know why your stomach hurts. You see, you ate donuts, but then didn't jump around. I do not have a stomach ache, even though I ate several of them, because with all the sweets you get really hyper and NEED to jump around, like I did with x-box. But you just sat about, that is why your stomach hurts.